I have always wanted to go back to school, but this is not exactly what I had in mind...
Last night I went to "Chemotherapy Class" with Talmage and my Mom. They are my "advocates". They come with me to help me remember everything I am told and to make sure I am getting what I need. I guess I will be getting "chemotherapy brain" which is a little scary considering I am just trying to recover from "pregnancy brain" haha.
Anyway, our "room" was the lobby and when I walked in, there were a lot of gloomy faces. I understood. They were scared. Scared of cancer, scared of their diagnosis, scared of their prognosis, scared of not knowing, scared of chemotherapy, scared of side effects, scared of dying. With all my heart, I understood, but I did NOT want to be another gloomy face in that room. I tried to smile and talk about "normal" things, like: "Honey, how was your day?" etc. Plus, it is just nearly impossible to be sad when Emma is around. She is such a cheer up.
They gave us each a large folder ... kind of like your Chemo Syllabus. The nurse went through all of the side effects and talked about each of the drugs that we will be getting. We watched a question and answer video and then went to see the "treatment room". It was a whole bunch of cubbies that will soon become a very familiar place to be - starting tomorrow.
One lady, when asked what chemo was said, "poison". You could tell the nurse had heard this answer before and was prepared for a proper response. She said, "Well, yes. It is like a poison because it will kill the bad cells in your body." I am trying to remember that although the chemo is going to take my hair, make me tired and who knows what else, it is NOT the ENEMY. It is helping me to make sure I did everything I could and everything medically possible to make sure the cancer is GONE! And I believe it IS! Then, I pray and turn it over to God. It will be alright.