Some Days Are Better Than Others

So, last week I had some really crappy (am I allowed to say that?) days!  I think Tuesday I spent most of the day crying for one reason or another. My eyes were swollen the next day.  I guess it didn't help that I had a major tooth ache and had spent Monday and Tuesday afternoon trying to get it resolved.  It was kind of an ordeal.  Anyway, I just had some really down days emotionally.  It seemed like I couldn't get past the baldness, or the puffyness, or my hijacked body, or the up-coming chemo treatment or the fact that I was even on chemo.  It just all hit me.  I really am not trying to complain.  I know it could be so much worse.   I just want to be honest with how I am feeling since this is not all roses and daffodils. 

It seems like when I am most down, something happens to bring me back to a sense of gratitude and awareness of a loving Heavenly Father.  I remember that this is just a small moment that will pass and that I am not alone in this journey.  So many people have lifted me in so many ways for which I am truly, truly, grateful.  On Tuesday, I received a beautiful poem in the mail from a beautiful person.  It was very timely.  I have read it many times since and have felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and peace.  It reads:

My life is but a weaving between my God and me. 

I do not see the colors; He worketh steadily. 

Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper and I the under side.

Not til the loom is silent and the shudders cease to fly

Will God unveil the canvas and reveal the reason why

The dark threads are as needful in the skillful weavers hand

As the threads of gold and silver in the patterns He has planned. 

I know that although these are hard or "dark" times for me, that there is a greater plan and that good will come from this experience IF I keep my faith in God.  He can turn the sorrow into joy.